In a touching and candid conversation with his wife, Diana Marua, Kenyan singer Kevin Bahati, popularly known as Bahati, opened up about the lesser-known chapters of his life, shedding light on his strained relationship with his late brother, Kyalo Kioko. During the emotional interview on Diana’s YouTube channel, Bahati shared glimpses of their early struggles and the profound regret he felt for not fully appreciating their bond before Kyalo’s untimely passing.
Bahati, who hails from a humble background, revealed that they were four siblings, with his sister Shiro, Kyalo, and Ndirang’o completing the family. Born and raised in a village in Machakos County, they faced numerous adversities from a young age. Their mother’s passing left a profound impact on their lives, particularly on Kyalo, who had dropped out of school by Class 4. Struggling to survive, Kyalo turned to alcohol as a form of comfort, leading to strained relationships within the family.
As Bahati’s religious commitment grew, attending Redeemed Gospel Church and abstaining from alcohol, he found himself judging Kyalo harshly for his drinking habits.
“Personally I have been a person who fights so much with other people over drinks. I have not been a friend of alcohol. Me and my brother used to fight a lot. I was the kind of person juu nilikua naendaga Redeemed naomba, mimi ni mtu wa kufast, naenda kesha, nikipata amelewa ningemjudge.” Revealed Bahati
He even distanced himself from his brother, allowing their bond to fracture further. Bahati admitted that he had been quick to judge his brother’s choices without understanding the immense pressure Kyalo was under.
“I even wrote him off as a brother. Ni ule mtu he could do anything to me. But I always felt like wewe juu unalewa na mi naendaga kudance Redeemed Gospel Church, I am holy,” he stated
As the old adage goes: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. For someone in Bahati’s shoes under similar circumstances of witnessing a loved one suffering due to alcohol abuse, knowledge or information about why people drink and exactly what alcoholism is, as well as how to prevent it or stop it is surely invaluable/extremely useful information.
Let’s take a short break from Bahati’s truly emotional revelation to get a glimpse of exactly what we are dealing with when it comes to alcohol consumption:
Unmasking the Four Types of Drinkers ( Main Source: www.latrobe.edu.au )
In a world where alcohol has been an integral part of social gatherings, celebrations, and even coping mechanisms, a team of researchers from La Trobe University, Emmanuel Kuntsche, and Sarah Callinan, sought to understand the complex motivations behind people’s drinking habits. Their groundbreaking study revealed that all drinkers can be classified into four types, each driven by unique internal or external incentives. As society grapples with the impact of alcohol use, this research offers hope for targeted interventions to promote healthier drinking behaviors.
The Motivational Model of Alcohol Use, developed initially to address alcohol dependence, proposes that people drink to experience a change in their emotional state. Whether seeking a boost in positive feelings or an escape from negative emotions, drinking serves as a gateway to achieving these desired changes. The four primary drinking motives identified are: enhancement, coping, social, and conformity.
1. Social Drinking – A Bonding Experience
In this model, social drinking takes center stage, especially among young adults. It is driven by the desire to enhance the enjoyment of social interactions and to be part of the camaraderie that accompanies shared experiences. Social drinkers are often associated with moderate alcohol consumption, as their focus is on the fun and relaxation that comes with being in the company of friends and loved ones.
2. Drinking to Conform – A Choice for Acceptance
Some individuals indulge in alcohol consumption primarily to fit in with their social circle, rather than it being their personal preference. They may raise a glass to join the toast or hold a drink as a means of blending in with the drinkers around them. Drinking to conform is often linked to moderate levels of alcohol use, as it is driven by the desire to avoid feeling different or pressured.
In recent years, initiatives like Hello Sunday Morning have encouraged individuals to take a break from drinking, promoting a more accepting environment for those who choose not to drink. By reducing the negative feedback received for abstaining, these programs are making strides in creating a healthier drinking culture.
3. Drinking for Enhancement – Seeking Thrills and Risk
Another category of drinkers is those who drink for enhancement motives. This group is often characterized by extroversion, impulsivity, and a desire for intense experiences. They actively seek the sensation of intoxication and may have a risk-taking personality. For them, drinking is about seeking excitement and extreme feelings.
While these individuals may be driven by a desire for intense experiences, their drinking habits can be risky and potentially harmful, especially if not managed responsibly.
4. Drinking to Cope – Battling Inner Demons
The final group comprises individuals who drink primarily to cope with their inner struggles and emotions. They often exhibit higher levels of neuroticism, low agreeableness, and harbor a negative self-image. These coping drinkers may turn to alcohol to alleviate anxiety and depression, using it as a means of temporary relief.
However, drinking to cope can lead to a dangerous cycle where underlying problems remain unresolved, and alcohol use becomes a maladaptive coping mechanism. This group is more likely to consume higher amounts of alcohol and face alcohol-related issues.
The Power of Understanding Drinking Motives
Understanding the underlying motivations behind drinking behaviors is essential for designing effective interventions to reduce harmful drinking patterns. Tailoring counseling sessions to address specific drinking motives has shown promising results, particularly in young women, where alcohol consumption decreased significantly.
While much of the research has focused on young adults, researchers hope to expand their investigations to understand drinking motives among adults as well. By gaining a deeper understanding of why individuals turn to alcohol, society can better support those struggling with unhealthy drinking habits.
Empathy and Support for a Healthier Future
As the world continues to grapple with the impact of alcohol on individual lives and society, the research conducted by Kuntsche and Callinan offers hope for a more compassionate and empathetic approach. By acknowledging the diverse motivations behind drinking, we can foster a culture of understanding and support, encouraging healthier choices and addressing the underlying issues that lead individuals to alcohol in the first place.
The journey towards a healthier relationship with alcohol begins with introspection and empathy. Next time you reach for a drink, take a moment to ponder why you are doing so. By gaining a deeper understanding of our motivations, we can take meaningful steps towards a brighter, more balanced future – one where alcohol can be enjoyed responsibly and with a clearer purpose.
Conquering Alcohol Use Disorder ( Main Source: www.mayoclinic.org )
Alcohol use disorder (AUD), commonly known as alcoholism, is a challenging condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It is characterised by the inability to control drinking, leading to distress and significant problems in daily life. However, with the right support and treatment, individuals can overcome AUD and embark on a transformative journey to recovery.
The Struggle of Alcohol Use Disorder:
AUD can stem from various factors, including genetic, psychological, social, and environmental influences. Over time, excessive alcohol consumption can alter brain function, leading to cravings and emotional dependence on alcohol. This debilitating cycle can cause individuals to prioritize alcohol above all else, even when it leads to legal, health, and relationship issues.
The Impact on Health and Safety:
The consequences of AUD extend beyond personal struggles. Excessive alcohol consumption impairs judgment, leading to poor decision-making and dangerous behaviors. From motor vehicle accidents to increased risks of violence and suicide, the impact on safety cannot be ignored. Moreover, AUD takes a severe toll on physical health, contributing to liver disease, heart problems, diabetes complications, and even bone damage.
The Road to Recovery:
Recognizing the signs of AUD and seeking early treatment is crucial for a successful recovery journey. Counselling by healthcare professionals plays a vital role in addressing the underlying emotional aspects of the disorder. For those needing additional support, detoxification programs in hospitals or medical facilities can aid in safely overcoming withdrawal symptoms. Medications are also available to help reduce the desire to drink.
The Triumph of Recovery:
Recovering from AUD is an inspiring and transformative process. It involves breaking free from the shackles of alcohol dependence and rediscovering a fulfilling life. As individuals regain control over their actions and emotions, they experience renewed self-esteem and a sense of purpose. Relationships improve, work performance flourishes, and the burden of legal and financial problems eases.
Overcoming Challenges:
The journey to recovery is not without its challenges. It requires dedication, perseverance, and a strong support network. Relapses may occur, but they should be seen as opportunities for growth rather than failures. With the right guidance and determination, individuals can learn coping strategies to navigate life’s ups and downs without relying on alcohol.
A Beacon of Hope:
Recovery stories abound, providing hope and inspiration to those battling AUD. People from all walks of life have conquered their dependence on alcohol and emerged stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Their journeys serve as beacons of hope, assuring others that recovery is possible and that a fulfilling life awaits on the other side.
Conclusion:
Alcohol use disorder is a challenging condition that affects both individuals and their loved ones. However, by seeking early treatment and embracing the journey to recovery, individuals can overcome AUD’s grasp and rediscover the joy of living life to the fullest. Remember, the path to recovery may be tough, but the rewards are immeasurable – a life of health, happiness, and fulfillment awaits those who dare to take the first step.
Now that we are more enlightened about alcohol use, misuse, abuse and the consequences involved, let’s pick up where we left off Bahati’s generous revelation…
Tragically, Kyalo was diagnosed with diabetes, adding to his struggles. Despite Bahati’s eventual realisation that compassion and love were essential, he couldn’t undo the past. By the time he sought to reconcile with Kyalo and mend their fractured relationship, it was too late.
“The health was bad. and I think I realized after he was admitted to Mbagathi, after alifanyiwa surgery. I went there for like an hour or 45 minutes. Getting home naambiwa mtu amepass,” he added
Kyalo’s health had deteriorated, and he eventually passed away at the tender age of 22 after undergoing surgery.
The loss of his brother and the regret of not cherishing their time together taught Bahati a profound lesson about the importance of valuing family bonds and spending quality time with loved ones.
” I forgot that loving is what may bring peace and love. I would have tried to solve the issue and explain to him that alcohol can never solve anything. Unaweza pata my brother alikuwa anakunywa pombe juu ya stress. I regret to this day why I hated him so much while he was just trying his best to make our life easier. “ confessed Bahati
He expressed deep remorse for not fully appreciating Kyalo’s presence during his lifetime and urged others not to make the same mistake.
Bahati’s story touched the hearts of many, resonating with those who have experienced similar regrets in their lives. His honesty about his past judgments and the redemption he sought serves as an important reminder that life is unpredictable, and it’s essential to cherish our loved ones while we can.
Since sharing his emotional account, Bahati has received an outpouring of support from fans and fellow artists alike. Many have commended him for his courage in sharing his personal journey and the powerful message it carries.
Through his heartfelt tell-all, perhaps we can be inspired to learn from his mistakes and embrace a more compassionate approach to our relationships. It is never too late to seek redemption, make amends, and learn from the past, but why wait to seek redemption when we have the benefit of other people’s experiences to learn from? Hopefully, Bahati’s honesty and resilience will leave a lasting impact on his fans and society as a whole.